How It Started

All my life I wanted to be an artist,

but I struggled between following my passion and feeling discouraged. I always felt like I had the ability to create, but I never believed my work was original or representative of me.

In high school art class, I looked around at all my classmates who completed their projects much quicker and more easily, and I decided I wasn’t talented enough. I went through many years without creating, and whenever I forced myself to face a blank canvas, I sat there until my anxiety drove me away.

It wasn’t until the year the pandemic hit that I was chronically on the internet. Driven by loneliness and boredom, I watched hours of YouTubers creating miniatures, sculptures, Halloween decorations, and just about anything that I could absorb. The inspiration filled me as I learned all these skills that I thought I could only learn through a fancy art school.

I ditched the idea that I had to paint freehand on a canvas and began sculpting. The joy that filled me was something I had never fully experienced with 2D or digital art. Being able to work with just my hands made me feel more connected to my pieces.

I still struggled with seeing a project through, but I found that as long as I was making pieces as gifts for my loved ones, I would push through even the “ugliest” phases of my creations. I also took my love for spooky season, fantasy/sci-fi shows to encourage the style that I had spent years trying to find.

The final obstacle to overcome was feeling like my work was only ever inspired by the movies and shows that I watched, and I felt like I was not good enough to be an original artist. It wasn’t until a difficult time in my life that I decided to start identifying myself as an artist, and I began watching up-and-coming creators online. I met with one who advised me to create a brand deck, even if it was just for myself, to begin visualizing my brand and manifesting it.

The symbol for my growth and healing journey became Venus flytraps, and it was my best idea to build my brand around them. I was always told I needed to focus my brand and my pieces, but through my research, I found many creators online who made just as many types of pieces, if not more, than I had ideas running through my head.

It took challenging the beliefs around me and focusing on what feels authentic to me to begin this, hopefully long, journey into becoming the person and creator I am meant to be.